Crying at work - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-09-2019, 05:48 PM Thread Starter
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Crying at work


I know I sound like a big baby here, but this has happened once (namely today), and will likely happen many more times in the foreseeable future. I don't want to get into the specifics of what happened, but I will say that a visitor made me feel like a complete and utter idiot. The flavour of the encounter wasn't severely offensive or confrontational, but mildly rude. The person didn't explicitly state that I was an idiot, but the tone and the words they chose just killed me on the inside. I suppose this was the last straw that broke the camel's back after repressing my frustrations regarding this matter over a period of time. Idk..... It just cut to the core... very, very deeply, and I needed to get out of the surrounding area ASAP. After the encounter, I went to the restroom and cried until I felt I was capable of working again. The rest of the day was tainted by this encounter, and the ghosts of similar prior experiences.

I don't get it.... why do people do this crap? I mean, I'm always being reminded that I'm an idiot day in and day out mainly by parents and managers / corporate overloads, but by strangers too? It's just rubbing salt in the wound. I know I'm an idiot, but it feels as if it's destroying me from the inside; having this gunk shoved in my face every single day. It's even gotten to the point where I'm actually considering going back to a psychologist to get this crap diagnosed (Not the SAD / GAD, but the mental slowness / whatever is triggering these people to call me an idiot); and then, I'll simply shove my diagnosis in the faces of these self-proclaimed geniuses to show them, that, I am, in fact, mentally impaired; all to avoid their mocking comments about how I'm a clueless clutz or condescendingly picking apart my reactions to a given scenario, and at least get some sympathy around here.

I'm tired of feeling like this, but I'm not sure much can be done other than to switch jobs and/or move out of the house. Even if I were to switch jobs, I'm sure the same cycle will repeat itself. It'll simply be worse in a corporate environment... much, much worse. I predict that it's going to get to the point where I'll cry a couple days a week in the work restroom; or at least after every team meeting, given if I were working in an office environment.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-09-2019, 06:00 PM
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You doesnt sound like an idiot at all, you sound like a person who is overwhelmed with emotions and maybe that clouds your mind? But then again i value intelligence a little differantly then other people.
Im sorry to hear you are having a rough time at work.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-10-2019, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Rakawakafo View Post
You doesnt sound like an idiot at all, you sound like a person who is overwhelmed with emotions and maybe that clouds your mind? But then again i value intelligence a little differantly then other people.
Im sorry to hear you are having a rough time at work.
That's reassuring for you to say, but apparently, I'm an idiot. It's only going to get worse from here. My mental processing just feels numbed out; difficulty concentrating, etc. Idk anymore.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 08:24 PM
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I feel you. A couple of years ago i started working in an office, where my boss used to do the exactly same things you mentioned. I also cried in the bathroom many times. I felt so small there. I'd rather be poor and die from starvation than return working there.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 09:02 PM
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That sucks, @GeomTech . Maybe you have ADD or some kind of learning disability. You're obviously not an idiot since you write well. Maybe you should get a job where you write copy or something.

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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-04-2019, 09:23 PM
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I'm so sorry. I wish people were more patient and considerate with others. We don't all work at the same pace or process information the same way, so it's unfair of people to make you feel bad about it.

My whole life people have made criticisms and comparisons and I am so tired of the speech "If I can do it, so can you!" Its an unfair measurement and most of the time the person saying this knows nothing about you.

You're not stupid, and you never give that kind of impression around here either.

Working under pressure and having anxiety and other things going on can really mess with us, and it doesn't help when people are hanging over our shoulder and getting visibly frustrated instead of having the kindness and understanding and patience to realise maybe there's more to it than that.

bad days, but don't let people's impatience tell you who you are. You're better than the way they make you feel.

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-05-2019, 07:56 AM Thread Starter
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I feel you. A couple of years ago i started working in an office, where my boss used to do the exactly same things you mentioned. I also cried in the bathroom many times. I felt so small there. I'd rather be poor and die from starvation than return working there.
Sorry to hear that happening to you, there. People in general just seem steely and densely grounded in my perception, but these qualities are amplified in the corporate world. I've always shied away from the idea of getting a 'hotshot' position at a renowned company (as I wouldn't want to make other sensitive souls like ourselves feel like idiots for the sole purpose of "efficiency" or "business" or any of that crap). I'm content with being a lowly technician, and I'll slowly make my way out of there after sufficient funds are saved up. Hopefully you can get out of there as well, and not have to "work" in the traditional 9-5 sense.


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That sucks, @GeomTech . Maybe you have ADD or some kind of learning disability. You're obviously not an idiot since you write well. Maybe you should get a job where you write copy or something.
Possibly. The psychologist never mentioned anything about ADD, but while looking back at my test scores for the psychological evaluation, I noticed that I had a huge gap between the nonverbal and verbal subtests (like 30+ points), which is regarded as unusual. Maybe that has something to do with it. Not really sure here. Probably some form of mild disability, which wouldn't surprise me in the least.

And thanks for thinking well of my writings. Still have quite a long ways from where I want to be, however.

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Originally Posted by A Toxic Butterfly View Post
I'm so sorry. I wish people were more patient and considerate with others. We don't all work at the same pace or process information the same way, so it's unfair of people to make you feel bad about it.

My whole life people have made criticisms and comparisons and I am so tired of the speech "If I can do it, so can you!" Its an unfair measurement and most of the time the person saying this knows nothing about you.

You're not stupid, and you never give that kind of impression around here either.

Working under pressure and having anxiety and other things going on can really mess with us, and it doesn't help when people are hanging over our shoulder and getting visibly frustrated instead of having the kindness and understanding and patience to realise maybe there's more to it than that.

bad days, but don't let people's impatience tell you who you are. You're better than the way they make you feel.
Thanks for the kind words there.

No longer do I get angry for very long at people who tear others down; it's mostly just sadness and self-pity these days. I often wonder the "why" behind their actions than anything else, and seek understanding. It seems like everyone is fed up with the entire system of life in general (hearing lots of complaints here, there, everywhere ranging from politics to certain work policies, etc). Might just be something inherent within us as well.

We are where we are collectively, and I hope for the best of the collective in the coming years, but I'm probably being naive here (as stated by elders / parents).
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-05-2019, 08:46 AM
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Is this a customer service job? Kind of goes with that type of job your going to have to deal with some rude / difficult customers. Been there before myself. Your boss and co workers are another story. They should be treating you with respect and in a professional manner. May want to start looking for a different job if it is that toxic of an environment. You can only control your own actions not anyone else's. Why are people saying you are an idiot? I can help you more if I know the general situation better.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-05-2019, 10:01 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Is this a customer service job? Kind of goes with that type of job your going to have to deal with some rude / difficult customers. Been there before myself. Your boss and co workers are another story. They should be treating you with respect and in a professional manner. May want to start looking for a different job if it is that toxic of an environment. You can only control your own actions not anyone else's. Why are people saying you are an idiot? I can help you more if I know the general situation better.
Yep. Bottom of the barrel retail work here. Really not understanding why some have to interject these borderline "jokes" or constructs that serve to tear others down. It's not like they're angry, but it's more of a "If this is that, and this is here, then we should have x here, shouldn't we?" with a condescending smirk. Like, one example was checking whether or not something was ordered, yet the system did not detect any previous orders, and I get this gunk from said customer about "Well, if it says there's no order history, then you didn't order it" with smart-assery dripping from his words. Pure yuck! Apparently, the system was wrong (not optimally configured), and the system would not detect things otherwise ordered either.

I mean, what now? Do I have to get logical fallacies pointed out to me or a logic lesson from everyone I stumble upon in life? It's bad enough that I already get berated for not being "in tune" with my surroundings, but lessons on logic? Forget it. And this mostly comes from the older crowd; and my parents as well. Very little hesitancy to label something as "stupid".

But the initial encounter was with a customer. They were asking if we had some product. I took a peek at said section, and stated that X company products are located here, so if it's not located there, then we most likely carry it no longer. And then, I get something like "Not a good answer, buddy" or some crap like that. Then, sensing his frustration, I stated "Didn't mean any rudeness there. If it's not in location X, then we don't carry it". And then, I get some pseudo-logical rebuttal like "Well, rudeness and not giving a good answers aren't mutually inclusive" or something like that. At that moment, I was done. I casually slinked to the restroom in the back, and cried. Not only am I getting called out repeatedly by others for being a clumsy clutz, apparently, I'm also an idiot that can't even use simple logic.

At that point forward, I began to tune out; deeply immerse myself in daydream land, and fantasies; no longer wanting to be acquainted with this gunk we call reality. I am able to jolt out of it when needed, but mostly, I stay in that space.

I can imagine things being far worse in a corporate environment; especially in those team meetings. One word uttered about something, and I'll likely be shut-down or ignored. Don't think I could handle working in such a position.
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