really bothering me - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2014, 07:58 PM Thread Starter
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really bothering me


There is this girl I really like at work. I've thought about her constantly for the last year and a half. I feel like I've known her my whole life. I found her myspace page and she is dating a really ugly black guy that looks like snoop dog or something and she is this small white girl. She is very smart,masters degree etc and he is dressed like some thug gangster. She looks like she is really in love with him too.

Oh well I guess we're all going to be the same color one day I guess. :/ It just sucks cuz herkids are going to look nothing like her if they have kids,etc..
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2014, 08:03 PM
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Are you being genuine? I'm going to avoid the portion about race and focus on the other bits. If a girl is in a relationship, happy or not happy, it is never right to overstep your boundary. It is nothing personal against you, but she simply is taken. If you've been infatuated with her for a year and a half, try to figure out why. If you haven't actually talked with her in depth, maybe you're creating false ideas about her and really you're just looking for a gal in general, which you can find in time. Best of luck.
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2014, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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Yes I'm serious. Yes I wish i knew why I liked her so much. She isn't super attractive, there are a lot of people better looking than her at work. I just felt like I wanted to be her friend. I really enjoyed her company. Maybe TMI, but when we were sitting next to each other and she was training me, it was like I couldn't sit still I was so aroused. That had never happened to me before. If I could find someone like her I would be so happy.
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2014, 08:22 PM
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Maybe it's because you've lacked interaction so much that you're ultra sensitive to it, and desperately want it? I don't know. You know yourself better.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-05-2014, 10:04 PM
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hmm interesting. I have had a similar experience. The guy is probably a really nice person even thou his cover saids otherwise. Anyways just let it go. Or maybe try to get closer to her and then she might choose you later ? U got options .
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-06-2014, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted by CubeGlow View Post
The guy is probably a really nice person even thou his cover saids otherwise.
If he was a nice person she wouldn't be dating him.

You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-06-2014, 05:40 PM Thread Starter
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I guess I should being doing what my therapist said and doing meetup.com activities. She has a profile on meetup.com and was a member of some hiking groups, the same thing I did for a while. I didn't realize there were actually people on there I was capable of feeling like that about.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-06-2014, 05:41 PM Thread Starter
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Maybe it's because you've lacked interaction so much that you're ultra sensitive to it, and desperately want it? I don't know. You know yourself better.
Yes perhaps I just don't meet enough women. It seems the last couple jobs I've had I get a crush one of the girls I work with.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-07-2014, 12:28 PM
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Yes perhaps I just don't meet enough women. It seems the last couple jobs I've had I get a crush one of the girls I work with.
yest thats probably it. I once kinda liked my therapist lol . Then once you start interacting with more people you start to think " what the hell was i thinking i can do so much better ". Its good that you realized it now thou .
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-07-2014, 04:03 PM
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Yes perhaps I just don't meet enough women. It seems the last couple jobs I've had I get a crush one of the girls I work with.
Definitely. When you have that type of void, you're likely to become infatuated with the first person you are close to physically or emotionally. Maybe it's the girls you work with because you kind of have to see them very often and there's reasons to talk/be around each other.

Also, I don't really agree with what Cube said. It's not that these people are beneath you, in my opinion. Maybe in yours, or theirs, but from my position, it would be more of just simply them being different than what you'd actually be looking for in a partner, and you would have picked up on this had you not had SA or other issues.
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