Work is by FAR the biggest trigger of my SA. Can anyone relate? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-22-2019, 04:54 PM Thread Starter
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Work is by FAR the biggest trigger of my SA. Can anyone relate?


i have a very specific, situational-based social anxiety that presents itself as fight or flight any time i am in the spotlight. of course, this largely happens at work; introductions to a new group, presentations, big meetings, conference calls, interviews, etc. funnily enough, the "introduce yourself to the group" might be my biggest trigger - rapid breathing and heart rate, quivering voice and the feeling of wanting to run out of the room.

BUT...here's the strangest part. NO one would know or think of me as having SA. in fact, i have been told MANY times that i would be great in sales as i love to tell stories, joke around, etc. i have many work friends, sit with a huge group at lunch and generally quite like work OTHER than the times i am in the direct spotlight.

is this atypical? much of what i read seems that SA sufferers are rather introverted and/or are the "lone wolf". i am quite the opposite outside of the specific scenarios outlined above.

anyhow, i guess i am coming here to question what my best method of attacking this might be. is it therapy? what kind of therapy - CBT? ACT? medication? a combination of all?

hope to read some helpful replies, and even better, some successes.

thanks!
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-22-2019, 05:27 PM
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Obviously you're doing quite fine without the help as people don't perceive you as anxious.
You probably suffer only from mild anxiety
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-24-2019, 07:27 AM
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i have a very specific, situational-based social anxiety that presents itself as fight or flight any time i am in the spotlight. of course, this largely happens at work; introductions to a new group, presentations, big meetings, conference calls, interviews, etc. funnily enough, the "introduce yourself to the group" might be my biggest trigger - rapid breathing and heart rate, quivering voice and the feeling of wanting to run out of the room.

BUT...here's the strangest part. NO one would know or think of me as having SA. in fact, i have been told MANY times that i would be great in sales as i love to tell stories, joke around, etc. i have many work friends, sit with a huge group at lunch and generally quite like work OTHER than the times i am in the direct spotlight.

is this atypical? much of what i read seems that SA sufferers are rather introverted and/or are the "lone wolf". i am quite the opposite outside of the specific scenarios outlined above.

anyhow, i guess i am coming here to question what my best method of attacking this might be. is it therapy? what kind of therapy - CBT? ACT? medication? a combination of all?

hope to read some helpful replies, and even better, some successes.

thanks!
It seems like performance anxiety. I suffer from that the most out of all my social anxieties, and I have found that I need medication along with CBT to cope. Have you tried beta blockers? They just slow the heart rate, and you take them before anything you perceive as a performance situation. They were too mild for me, but it's a great place to start because they aren't addictive or habit forming (I should know... I can get addicted to literally anything, lol). If that fails, Ativan is great if you can keep it in check. Good luck!
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-27-2019, 02:28 PM
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I feel like I'm pretty similar. Sometimes you're not actually suffering from an actual social anxiety. It's a fear you've learnd/copied from someone (usually parents) in your childhood.

I'm the same way, I get anxious in very specific situations, but I can act very confident.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-27-2019, 02:36 PM
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Somewhat similar for me. Def one of them.

On enhanced mobile I don't receive notifications besides pms. Apologies if I don't respond.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-27-2019, 04:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wtfiswrongwithme View Post
anyhow, i guess i am coming here to question what my best method of attacking this might be. is it therapy? what kind of therapy - CBT? ACT? medication? a combination of all?

hope to read some helpful replies, and even better, some successes.

thanks!
You could probably benefit from joining a Toastmasters where you could be in the spotlight regularly until it was no big deal. CBT might help, also.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-30-2019, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by wtfiswrongwithme View Post

BUT...here's the strangest part. NO one would know or think of me as having SA. in fact, i have been told MANY times that i would be great in sales as i love to tell stories, joke around, etc. i have many work friends, sit with a huge group at lunch and generally quite like work OTHER than the times i am in the direct spotlight.

is this atypical? much of what i read seems that SA sufferers are rather introverted and/or are the "lone wolf". i am quite the opposite outside of the specific scenarios outlined above.
No, what you've described is not typical of those with severe debilitating SA at work. They would usually be drained by work everyday worrying about every interaction that happened for hours at home after work, have little to no work friends, often mocked, ignored, or disrespected by some coworkers, or avoided or not welcome at groups at lunch, etc.

You may just have some particular stage frights when focused on or tasked to speak for the group or some other, perhaps leadership expectations which may not even be really related to clinical SA but some other self-concept or job identity issues.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-24-2019, 04:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wtfiswrongwithme View Post

BUT...here's the strangest part. NO one would know or think of me as having SA. in fact, i have been told MANY times that i would be great in sales as i love to tell stories, joke around, etc. i have many work friends, sit with a huge group at lunch and generally quite like work OTHER than the times i am in the direct spotlight.

is this atypical? much of what i read seems that SA sufferers are rather introverted and/or are the "lone wolf". i am quite the opposite outside of the specific scenarios outlined above.
No, what you've described is not typical of those with severe debilitating SA at work. They would usually be drained by work everyday worrying about every interaction that happened for hours at home after work, have little to no work friends, often mocked, ignored, or disrespected by some coworkers, or avoided or not welcome at groups at lunch, etc.
.
I totally relate to your workplace anxiety, but then I also spend night after night fretting about every conversion or micro mistake I may have made - this is why I find myself here at 4am.
I too probably don’t come off as having SA to my coworkers or even friends. I think sometimes they think I’m selfish or rude but really I’m frozen inside unsure what to say.

Don’t feel your anxiety has to fit into a box to be real or mean you can’t seek help. If it’s a problem for you, it’s real.

It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls, for the times they are a changing.
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