Work Relationships are So Hard!!! Need Advice
I struggle so much at work that i am stuck between not knowing how to relate with others to feeling like an outsider. If i stay to myself they wonder why i am so quite and when i do try to socialize sometimes i come off as awkward or over the top.
I work with a bunch of guys and being one of the only females and an introvert at that, its kind of hard to relate with them. ONE OF THE SITUATIONS: Awhile back one of my coworkers drank a little much and made a big deal about seeing a dog. So we all laughed at it and had a great time. He would never admit to it or just smile and laugh it off saying i don't know what you are talking about. So on this most recent work trip we were in a group of coworkers (not all knew the back story) and i was laughing and yelled out (since he was down a flight of stairs) that the hotel was pet friendly and that they have dogs. I didn't think he heard me (hindsight he was probably ignoring me) i say it again not thinking it was a huge deal that he would laugh it off or something. He just smiles a bit and says shut up Katt... I just laugh it off and go on. Later on i am dwelling about it and wishing i never said it in the first place. The fact that i was yelling it and as I was replaying it in my head it just seemed more and more idiotic. I would never intentional hurt someone or embarrass them, because i really wouldn't want that to happen to me. I figured in my head i am not close enough to him to joke but i really didn't think he was that sensitive to it. This is but one instance when i am at work that things seem to blow up in my face, how do i deal with these situations? And how can i best fit in and be one of the group and not always come off looking stupid? I am tired of feeling inadequate, embarrassed, lonely, and feeling like I need to apologize all the time. Let me know if you have any pointers on being more confident and how to brush off the small stuff. I know i over analyze things and dwell on it if it is soooo bad, and in my mind it just keeps growing until i cant sleep and get even more anxious. And how do you deal with awkward silences I never know what to do i end up getting nervous and start rambling. I am 34yrs old you would think i would have this confidence thing down by now. I have dealt with anxiety most of my life and am so tired of feeling this way. Please help...
Thank you in advance for any help you may give,