Why postive thinking is so important - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-27-2006, 07:37 PM Thread Starter
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Why postive thinking is so important


It's been a while since I last posted here, for that fact, even visited this site, and my reasons are my own. I don't plan on saying anything to make myself seem better or worse or whatever, I just want to share some of my thoughts with you. I hope with what I say here you can identify with and ease w/e it is your thinking or going through...

Where am I in life? I am now making less money than I did before, I am far away from most family and friends, and single. How do I feel? A bit satisfied with what I have learned these last few weeks since once again coming to a more positive way of thinking. When I first thought of positive thinking I thought of something that couldn't be done because of the countless negatives that life offers ME(just thinking that was thinking negative), yet I have come to a understanding that it isn't life that hands me obstacles, but myself. You may of heard of this before and if that is the case and you are still feeling down and negative then I hope at least you are trying to care for yourself and your thoughts because your thoughts are pretty much everything. It's the strangest thing to me because until now I never understood what "they" meant by positive thinking. Positive thinking isn't just something you do. Positive thinking isn't some stupid thing that weak people do in order to feel better at times. And for that fact neither is negative thinking. Everybody has negative thoughts, even the richest most wise humans. Why? Because they are humans and life isn't perfect and shouldn't be described as perfect because perfect is just way too unreal when it comes to people's moods, thoughts, success, etc. Nobody is perfect. So what is happiness? Happiness isn't a concrete foundation but an ATTITUDE that comes from how one THINKS and REACTS towards life's obstacles. This is why positive thinking is so important. Did you know that you actually choose the way you feel or have felt over the years? You may say that you've tried everything and that everything hasn't worked. So why hasn't it worked? More than likely it's because of the way you think. Negative thoughts are common events in everyone's lives yet the difference between those who feel "happy" or contempt with themselves is because they REALIZE THEIR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND CHOOSE TO REPLACE THEM WITH MORE UPLIFTING, AND MORE THAN OFTEN, TRUER POSITIVE REASONS OR THOUGHTS. Whether they do it consciously or subconsciously, they do it somehow in someway. What you are thinking about this message I am saying to you right now is either positive or negative. How do you feel right now? Positive or negative? If negative, than there is something in you that is contradicting this positive message and it can be almost ANY negative thought. So what can you do about it? Change that negative thought into something more uplifting, and in most circumstances, often truer, postive reality. Have you ever noticed how some situations or images or thoughts can just dampen your mood right when you think of them? You can be anywhere, feeling any way and BAM it just hits you by thinking of it. That is a negative thought. Sometimes this negative thought can actually stay with you all day and into the night. Why? Because you have chosen to keep it with you. There is a way to overcome this. First, you have to identify your negative thought for what it is at that moment. Then either remember it or write it down and how you feel. Ask yourself why you feel this way. Then just come up with something positive to tell yourself that seems to contradict your negative thought. For instance, you might think that people notice your insecurities and feel turned off by your presence. You can say something more realistic by telling yourself that people are just curious and just because they may have looked at you doesn't mean they are judging you negatively. Then come up with positive reasons why they may of been looking at you and just keep building more and more positive solutions in your mind. Remind yourself that just because people look at you doesn't mean they are judging you based on how you feel. People aren't mind readers. They might of been bored and looking at you to start up a conversation to introduce themselves. They may have been looking at you because you remind them of someone they know. Just by thinking more positively you can erase your negative thinking more and more. Don't expect it to be easy. Negative thoughts are sometimes almost impossible to identify because of mixed feelings or distortions. Visit a site that better explains what I'm trying to say if you decide to practice this because they can further help you understand and prepare yourself. Here is one link of many: http://www.habitsmart.com/pin.html

Positive thoughts shouldn't be shunned but understood. Your thoughts are your world from the moment you awake to the moment you sleep and into your dreams. Your thoughts make you feel certain ways. Your thoughts make your body physically respond to whatever it is thinking. You get shaking, blushed, dizzy feelings because of YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR THOUGHTS ONLY!!!!! Your thoughts are the reasons why doctors say you may have a chemical imbalance. Your thoughts are the reason why you feel down. Your thoughts are the reason, not necessarily for where you are, but how you look at your life. Your thoughts are EVERYTHING. You can't change people or what they may think about you, but the one thing that you can change is your perspective and your attitude towards your life, and when you can do that it won't matter what they think about you because you are so kind to yourself with positive thinking you don't need approval from anyone or anything! So don't blame how you feel on the past but on the present. And don't blame the present on what's going on around you but blame yourself. Blame yourself because you are the only one to blame. And even blaming yourself can be taking into positive or negative consideration. In this case it's positive because by blaming yourself you now are taking responsibility for how you feel and what you do with your life. Don't wait on others because others ultimately can't change they way you feel because the way you feel comes from the way you think.

I'm really grateful that I have come to understand what I know now about positive thinking. I am grateful because I know that I ultimately have control over how I feel, think, act and respond to the world around me. I have taken responsibility in myself. I also trying to give myself permission to feel down at times because there are times to feel bad and times not to, but this is more complicated and hard to explain in words. When you really think about it, positives always attract positives and negative always attract negatives. The mind is the most disastrous or beautiful thing you have. It all depends on how you use it!!!
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-27-2006, 09:32 PM
 
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I'm sorry, your post was really long with no paragraph breaks, so I only skimmed through it, but what you said makes so much sense and I agree. Add faith in a higher power and overcoming SA is doable.

I personally have tried to stop reading woe is me posts and trying to uplift others with positive thinking. I may be driving them crazy by now, but I don't care. Like you said, negativity breeds negativity, and that is something we have control over.

Good for you!
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-27-2006, 11:49 PM
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I really love what you have wrote. I am going to save it and read and read it. Negativity is my mindset, and I am going to change it.

jenky

In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-28-2006, 08:34 AM
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That was a very long post.... but it was definitely worth the read... I couldn't agree with you more. I've always let people control how I feel... whether it was if my friends calling me just to see if I'm ok, and if they don't call me, then it makes me upset... or if my boyfriend wasn't able to do something that he promised he would do, that would make me feel upset as well... Your post helped me to realize that NO ONE is responsible for how I feel or how I react to stiatutions in life, except me. And it all begins with my thoughts... Thanks for helping me to realize that.

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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-28-2006, 09:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Supalady05
That was a very long post.... but it was definitely worth the read... I couldn't agree with you more. I've always let people control how I feel... whether it was if my friends calling me just to see if I'm ok, and if they don't call me, then it makes me upset... or if my boyfriend wasn't able to do something that he promised he would do, that would make me feel upset as well... Your post helped me to realize that NO ONE is responsible for how I feel or how I react to stiatutions in life, except me. And it all begins with my thoughts... Thanks for helping me to realize that.
I will challenge you one further and say that not even you are responsible for how you feel. Confidence comes not from within nor from without but from believing in faith. In Him is where your confidence lies and as such, He is responsible for your happiness. Though He may allow fears and feelings of unhappiness to enter your life, trust in him and keep your faith in him and toghether you shall overcome.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-28-2006, 05:20 PM
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My faith in God isn't as strong as it should be. A lot of things have been happening in my life, and it's been a lot of "why's?" and "i don't deserve this! i'm such a good person, etc..." and I'm just trying to learn that everything happens for a reason... and that there was a reason for particular events to happen to me...

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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-28-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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I know this is a little off topic, but it sounds like you could use the uplift, Supalady:

You can never be good enough to earn God's love and gifts. We are made to fail and be flawed, he created us that way. He will bestow his gifts regardless, because he is a loving God.

If we turn our face to him and trust in him and keep our faith in him, he will take care of us. And yes, things happen for a reason, even if we can't see the destination or hear his message to us, if we follow him we will find contentment.

I'll tie that back into the original post. Avoid those things that give you negative thoughts. You have the power to surround yourself with positive thinking and positive prayer and trust in him.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-30-2006, 02:07 PM
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GREAT Post
 
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-30-2006, 05:00 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Supalady05
That was a very long post.... but it was definitely worth the read... I couldn't agree with you more. I've always let people control how I feel... whether it was if my friends calling me just to see if I'm ok, and if they don't call me, then it makes me upset... or if my boyfriend wasn't able to do something that he promised he would do, that would make me feel upset as well... Your post helped me to realize that NO ONE is responsible for how I feel or how I react to stiatutions in life, except me. And it all begins with my thoughts... Thanks for helping me to realize that.
I wanted to respond to your post so I can further explain what I mean by responsiblity for how one feels...

you said,
"I've always let people control how I feel... "

People can't control how you feel. They cannot. There is no way. Someone may say that you are a loser or a bum or w/e but it's not their words that ultimately hurt you. It's you and you only. There are people who choose to let comments roll off their backs as soon as they are said. I have tried to do this many times and it is hard unless you can get to a point where you understand deeply that YOU are in control of your thoughts, which obviously, gives you control over your feelings or reactions to those thoughts. Everything starts with a thought. Nothing ever created wasn't without a thought first. Look around you. Nothing. Not even the "t" in this.

It's not a bad thing at all to take responsibility for how you think. There is nothing negative about that. Do you want to feel different? You can do it. Anyone can do it. For some it may take much, much practice and countless hours of reading positive books and listening to tapes, seminars, etc... For others, this message alone. All you have to do it keep at it.

First step is to take responsibility for how you think and react towards things. Remember to take it easy on yourself and avoid self-putdowns. You should take it easy and just look at it as a challenge and not as something you cannot do. You will never overcome anxiety. You will only learn how to minimize it and control it. Everyone feels anxiety... you cannot delete it. But back to the first step... If you can, try to develope a taste for harmonious meanings such as, love, friendships, relationships, mercy, etc. Anything involving fear is negative. SO ANYTIME YOU FEEL FEAR THINK ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT YOU FEAR AND JOT IT DOWN OR REMEMBER IT. This is important because you are now identifying your negative thought. So for instance, if you are going to the store and you feel anxious or nervous try to identify what it is that is making you nervous. Is it what people might think of you on entering? Is it a fear of feeling anxiety? What is it? Write it down or remember it. Doing this first step will help you realize that what you fear revolves around what you THINK. Very important to understand.

Second step is to build positive dialog over your negative thought. Go to the original posting in order to get link to find out how to do this.

Third step is probably the hardest until you get used to it. You must do whatever it is your fear REGARDLESS of how you feel. This will give you insight and build your esteem and lessen your limitations. DO IT ANYWAYS!! Remember, it's all in your head. It isn't real. You won't know what it feels like until you have come out of it. And you will ALWAYS come out of it successfully. There is no failure when it comes to doing your fears. Facing your fears ONLY builds you up and expands your possibilities. Doing nothing will do nothing for you unless you can build positive imagery on w/e it is you fear, and if you can do that then you'll find yourself doing the things you once feared anyways because you'll want to see how far you can push yourself. No matter how slow it may take you, you will automatically do what you think about because EVERYTHING STARTS WITH A THOUGHT. You cannot do ANYTHING without a thought. The more you think about positives and self nurturing the more you'll find yourself WANTING to do those things. And that is written in stone. Remember, positives attract positives and negatives attract negatives. There is nothing no one can do if you think positively because HOW YOU THINK DETERMINES THE WAY YOU FEEL!! Other people shouldn't be held accountable.

I hope this is inspiration for you all...

Read things that motivate you. Listen to ideas and positive lectures. Open you mind and remember that fear is negative. Fear is your ultimate limitation in life. Fear immobilizes you BECAUSE FEAR IS NEGATIVE THINKING. Change your thoughts and the rest will follow. That is guaranteed to you! Don't be hard on yourself in the process because by trying too hard or putting yourself down you only add NEGATIVE condensations to yourself. Respect yourself knowing that by respecting yourself you are giving yourself responsibility to feel GOOD. See how it works? Just THINK about what you can do and build on that.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-30-2006, 05:13 PM Thread Starter
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Here are some good recommendations for you to help build positive dialog and understanding...

1)Listen to some tapes by Lucinda Basset. She is the founder of the Midwest Center for stress and anxiety. Just listen to it as much as you can or whenever possible. Don't stop until you fully understand what she teaches.

2)Get as many Wayne Dyer tapes as possible. I have actually just started listening to some of his cds but it is related to positive thinking. Although his teachings are somewhat hard to grasp at first, there is no doubt positive messages in what he preaches. Highly recommended. Also get some of his books if you prefer the reading approach.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 04-30-2006, 07:14 PM
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ok. thank u for re-explaining your post to me... it's so much easier said then done to just re-think the way that i think about myself and my actions... i mean... this is defintely gonna take some time and getting used to... i'm my very own worst critique... (i'm confident that everyone is the same way)... I'm just so confused about my life right now, and it's very hard to stay positive with the negativity and crap that's going on now.

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